Future Me

contemplating life

I got an email from myself the other day, and that’s myself a year ago, so I guess that means I’m my Future Me right now. Everyone has one… it’s who you are supposed to become and who you will turn into, for better or worse. Well, there’s a website out there where you can send emails to yourself in the future. Future Me – get the idea. I thought it was a good idea at the time and knew for sure I’d remember the email was coming. But then it hit my inbox the other day like a ton of bricks and when I saw it my heart sank a little bit because I remembered writing it. And remembered so clearly believing it. Here’s what it said:

The following is an e-mail from the past, sent through FutureMe.org
It was composed on Wednesday, August 25, 2010, to be sent on Thursday, August 25, 2011:
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Dear FutureMe,
By the time you read this Harvey will have kicked cancer’s butt!! He will be in remission, living happy and healthy. Go out and have fun, remember what you went through last year and how awful it was. The pain and the worry was unbearable. Enjoy life and what you have right now! Because you never know what is going to happen.

Wow! I’m actually really glad I sent it to me. It’s a reminder how life was then and what Harvey and I went through. At the time we couldn’t wait to ‘live’ again, and live a normal life. One year ago today is when Harv went into the hospital for the first time and we found out that he would need a bone marrow transplant. We heard the percentages and the Doctor say that he had a 50% chance of surviving – and 25% if we didn’t get rid of the cancer right away. That’s a hard hit to take. In honor of H-man and his strength and life we all need to step back and look at our ‘Future Me’s’ and who they are going to be and what they can do to enjoy life and make it a better for everyone else. I’m glad I met my Future Me the other day and I look forward to seeing another email from her in a year or two. Sometimes we all need a little reminder.

WORKOUT – 3 miles, yoga

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5 responses

  1. Nicole D'Innocenzo

    You are such a strong woman!!! I definitely admire you! We need to plan something soon….miss you!!!

    p.s. I’m hoping to get a Tully Nut this weekend :))

    September 1, 2011 at 5:45 pm

  2. AP,
    This is such a great post and you are right, we DO all need to stop and think, and enjoy what we have. You are so strong and I admire all you have been through to get where you are today! Let’s do lunch soon, I miss ya!

    September 1, 2011 at 6:05 pm

  3. Marta Myland

    It is so crazy that it’s been a year already since the worst began. I’m glad you sent yourself the email too. What a neat concept and it really shows how different things can be in a year. Thank you for sharing that! Love ya:)

    September 1, 2011 at 6:07 pm

  4. kim desko

    April, I remember when Carl’s 100 day biopsy came back cancer free in April, 2010, then he was off all the immuno suppressants by mid-June, had a new job lined up and I relaxed. From diagnosis on June 28, 2009 to June 23, 2010, there was always at least a tiny little part of me waiting for something to go terribly wrong, but forging ahead as if that could not happen. On June 24, 2010 I thought we were done – I thought we’d beaten this and we could start re-building our life together. I remember thinking exactly that. Eleven days later, he was re-admitted to the hospital with the start of acute Graft vs. Host from the bone marrow transplant and 7 1/2 grueling weeks later he was gone. I have never seen anyone fight so hard or endure so much.

    Like you, I’ve spent a lot of time and energy surviving the loss of my husband, claiming my life back and moving forward down this path we never expected to travel. When I remember last summer, I could not have imagined being who and where I am now – strong, positive and happy; ready to take on the next chapter of my life and planning it with a new partner. And truly grateful for right now and all the moments before, even the hard ones.

    I just sent my future self an email; it will be interesting to see what the road will look like in another year. You’re a way faster runner than I am these days, but I do hope to see you at practice soon. Maybe we can grab a coffee.

    September 1, 2011 at 7:01 pm

  5. Aunt Teresa and Uncle Curt

    April, as I have said many times before you are my HERO! You are such a strong woman! You have taught our family alot about who you are as a person. You will always be part of our family and don’t ever forget it. We love you so much! We hope to get see you again.

    September 2, 2011 at 1:31 pm

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