People Just Don’t Get It

WARNING! This is another tough one…

When something awful happens to you… people are there for you, family, friends, co-workers. Whoever you need – if you are lucky. Which I was more than blessed with the past few years. However, everyone’s lives move on, and people get to go back to their families and back to their daily lives, when you (the one in the situation – whether it be death, illness, divorce, losing all your money, whatev). And yes… in this case I am talking about CANCER. You are the one who thinks about it all the time and is the one who has to work through everything yourself and deal with it. And unless you lived it, you just don’t know. People can sympathize and help out, but it’s not the same.

Then it seems everyone forgets. People complain about stupid stuff or make excuses for things. They forget what you’ve just dealt with in your life. How can someone say… ‘OMG, I could never live without (insert person here). Really!? Because I did it – did you forget that? Or, I can’t go without seeing (so and so) I’m just not going to be able to make it. Meaning I can’t give something up in my life right now… well, some people don’t get a choice.

I think this photographer (link below) is amazing and had a perfect idea to capture the truth and realness of his wife’s cancer. Because no one knows until you live it… and Angelo’s story helps you live it like it was. Not sugar coated, not always positive and upbeat and painted over. It’s what people don’t WANT to hear, see or think about. It’s the all the medicine, the fear, pain, agony, stress… face masks, walkers, canes… wondering, not knowing… waiting, results, blood tests. Never any rest, never sleep, living a bad dream, out of your control. Life changes, nothing matters, FEAR in it’s worst vengeance. Cold, hard, unforgiving… never ending… life with real meaning… death.

Cancer: The Battle We Didn’t Choose – CHECK HIM OUT

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4 responses

  1. Good find. Your post and that blog really hit home with me.

    January 20, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    • Hey Adam! Thanks so much. It is definitely very relatable, and sometimes we come across these things at the exact right time that we need them.

      January 24, 2012 at 4:52 pm

  2. Kim

    Thanks for the link to “The Battle We Didn’t Choose”. I will wait until I have some time for the inevitable emotional melt down to go through the photos, but the blog rang so true. It doesn’t matter that she had a different type of cancer or that the specifics of her treatment & experience were different than Carl’s – cancer hell is cancer hell regardless of the “flavor”.

    I know you are rebuilding your life along a path that you never expected to face. So am I. “There is no normal in cancer-land”, regardless of whether you are the patient or the spouse/parent/child, regardless of survival or not – “normal” never looks the same again. And you are right; all those wonderful, caring people, who are still probably part of your life, keep on going while you pick up the pieces and some of them forget because their experience is from the sidelines, not the front line. And, as I move further down this new path, I too find that people seem to forget; I also find that the strangest things stop me in my tracks, bringing tears and fresh pain.

    I get it; I’m living it. And if you ever want to talk, let me know.

    January 20, 2012 at 4:50 pm

    • It is comforting knowing others out there feel the same way that we do, and we are not alone. Thanks so much for your help, as always. Hopefully see you soon!

      January 24, 2012 at 4:51 pm

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