Fate Vs Determination

So I’ve always been a firm believer in ‘everything happens for a reason’… ‘fate‘, and ‘it all works out in the end’. I think all of these are really good views and also great ways to take the stress out of situations. There are a lot of things in life that you can’t control, and it’s a waste to stress about the things you can’t control… there’s no point. M.R. always tells me ‘do something about the things you have control over and learn to accept the things you don’t’. Which is all SO true.

But lately I’ve been thinking about this fate thing. WILL everything really work out in the end? And the way it’s meant to be? Or if you make a bad decision somewhere along the line you are totally screwed? I really hate to think that’s the case because I hate regrets. I rather do something and have consequences than regret not taking the chance and not doing it. But at the same time that means you are taking the reins and taking complete control and in turn you’re the one who is responsible if shit hits the fan or doesn’t work out the way you wanted it.

Like… I’m pretty sure I single handedly ruined my entire summer. Making a lot of rash decisions and not quite thinking things through. Or thinking things through but instead of doing what I wanted… doing what I ‘thought I was supposed’ to do. Or what I thought the right thing to do was or things to please other people or doing things because I didn’t think I should. From little things like, running THIS and injuring myself so that I have to take off the whole entire summer. Or eating crappy all winter so I feel bad when it’s time to wear cute clothes.

I truly truly believe that certain people are put into our lives at certain times. But I wonder… do they just touch us in a certain way and then they move on? NO ONE is ever in our lives forever. That’s just an obvious fact. People come and go, some stay longer whether they move on, or die, or just aren’t in our lives anymore. But are two people REALLY meant to spend their whole lives together. In technicality we aren’t a species that mates for life – and that is the truth. And how are people actually ‘soul mates’? I mean come on let’s really think about this if there were two people that were meant to be together forever – two people from the whole world… how come they just randomly happen to live in the same city? Just the whole numerology and rationality of that doesn’t make sense. And let’s be realistic, there are a zillion fish in the sea. So how is it then that the two right people meet at the two right times in their lives? And what about when people are together for years so they just stay together because it’s comfortable. We all love comfort and routine – so is that what we love or is it the person? And what if one person isn’t quite ready but the other person is, then is the chance broken… or do you try to make it work. OR do you wait on fate? Fate to bring you back together, the universe to bring you back together… how does this work, really?

Maybe I watch too many ridiculously annoying and so un-realistic romantic comedies and base real life on SATC. Like – really Carrie… you’re going to marry Mr. Big after he left you at the alter. And what guy is going to actually make that ‘Grand Gesture’? And come flitting back into your life and declare his love for you and that he can’t live without you. Doesn’t happen in real life, but maybe we expect it to.

So conclusion… do you leave things up to fate and hope that you get swept off your feet or do you really go after something that you want? I see it both ways but I’ve only ever done it one way. Harv and I never would have ended up together if I didn’t pursue him – REALLY pursue him and go after what I wanted… and it took time and wasn’t easy. And I’m not gonna lie, it wasn’t exactly the most correct way of going about things. But apparently that’s my MO. I know what I want and go after it.

Guessing that means I’m more of a determination girl vs. fate. Let’s be honest (obviously I am – too late for that). Nothing in life worth having comes easy. Life is hard get a fucking helmet, saddle up and grab the reins if you want to good ride. And if you don’t take risks you’re not going to get anywhere. – There’s my answer.

Thoughts… ?? What are you, Fate or Determination?


2 responses

  1. It’s really funny because I started writing a post about luck the other day. Same sort of thing-do we just “get lucky” or is our luck a product of hard work and like you said, determination? I like to think we are all LUCKY to have the ability to push hard and work towards a goal or dream – not everyone is lucky enough to possess those things inside them. I will say though, I am lucky to have you as a friend because you rock!

    July 20, 2012 at 8:07 am

    • thanks steph!! you are awesome! i agree too… i think we are offered opportunities because of our hard work and a good attitude. and i think even though sometimes it seems that bad things happen to good people. i think it’s because that only makes us stronger and more determined. and happiness and good things snowball from a great outlook (here’s to hoping!)

      July 20, 2012 at 8:45 am

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