#Election2012. A big FUCK. …. moving on.
Here’s some real shiznit. Posts from CB. I try to reflect and read stuff back this time every year. Puts things in perspective and it’s always good to remember, whether it’s good stuff or bad stuff. Because being REAL and experiencing BS and horrible stuff is what molds us and makes us who we are. It’s not how you are in good times… it’s how you handle the bad ones.
How was this really my life two years ago? #bestwifeaward #yourstrongerthanyouthinkyouare #lovelife #viverediscecogitamori #livelife
Written Nov 20, 2010 4:25pm
Written Nov 22, 2010 3:23pm
In honor of the great family weekend that we just had.
Hahaha… and I just love this picture. Only because I know how hung over and miserable I was. Although I look smashingly fresh! I rolled in to the rents at midnight the night before a 4am wakeup call. Preeeeaaaaaty sure I had to get driven home from a Happy Hour – yes that probably started at 5:30pm. So needless to say my plane ride down to the Dominican Republic was awesome. Thankfully they encourage all day drinking in the DR. Score.
WORKOUT – 1 hour elliptical, yoga
With this little girl? A LOT!! I haven’t been blogging lately for a lot of reasons. ONE – I’m over pretending and playing things up, and writing what I want to happen instead of what actually is happening and going on. I started this blog as a way to get my thoughts out and be completely honest – mostly with myself. It was a way to throw it all out there to myself and whoever else was bored enough at work to read it. I needed to talk about things yet I didn’t want to talk about them with anyone, so blogging was the best way to do that. Refreshing. Detoxifying my mind. But it slowly it stopped becoming that. It stopped being real and started becoming a facade of what or how I wanted things to be.
TWO – I’m starting and working on a new blog. Much cooler, much more exciting, creative, and with hopefully a lot better pictures and features. Coming January 2013!
THREE – I’m not running. It’s getting to the point now that the anxiety without running is building and building so badly that I can’t even think about it. Having to talk about it all day at work is hard. And hearing other people’s running victories and training is really really hard (yeah I’m a jealous little bratt.) 4 months is not a long time but feels like forever and I would give anything right now to be able to go on any run. 26.2 is going to feel so fucking sweet the next time it comes. So I need to refocus myself, and concentrate on getting healthy and getting ready to refresh and hit it hard again when the next training season comes around.
Patience, progress, … conviction?
I’m finally at the place that I need to be. Realized, and admitted some things to myself that I’d been hiding for so long. And sometimes the hardest thing to do is admit something to yourself, especially if it’s a fault. I’m at the spot now, where I can look back with no regret, no remorse, no sadness, no bitter feelings and no wondering ‘why?’. But seeing my life for what it really was and is and will be. Looking forward into the new beginning of what lies ahead. A life that I’m actually living. Stripped away are all the blinders, and excuses and fear. And that’s a lot to be able to say… Free.
I’ve posted about this in the past but it’s super important so I’m doing it again. Plus I like this picture. ha.
On the CB site I mentioned a little bit about Heather who was one of the patients in the hospital room right next to Harvey’s. She was Harv’s age, married with two little kids. Her and Harv were going through chemo at the same time and on the same track. Harv found a donor off of the Registry BE THE MATCH – the National Bone Marrow Registry. He was lucky enough to find a 10for10 perfect match, a young male (also always better odds). So he was set to go when the transplant was ready to take place. Heather however was waiting to find a match. And it took a while… but they found one for her. Your life is literally in someone elses’ hands. Someone who may have just randomly decided to join the registry one day…
Heather’s transplant went well and she has now reached her two-year anniversary! I’m excited for her and her family. They made it through the unthinkable together. We’ve been in touch a little here and there throughout the past two years. It’s a tough situation. She feels bad for being the one who survived when Harvey didn’t. And didn’t know if I was ok with talking to her. But that’s life… the plan is out of all of our hands.
Can’t wait to see you next week, Heather!
WORKOUT – ellip 1 hour, JM
Haaaad to find this pic. Em and I were just reminiscing about this last weekend. So fun. Black and White party on a fishing boat, ha that is SeaIsle summer for you.
WORKOUT – 30min ellip, 30min bike
More house projects. I’m thoroughly enjoying this!! Kitchen is well on it’s way to being done. Ok, so not really but at least I started it. I think the worst part about painting is actually starting. Once you do it’s not so bad. And… this helps..
One coat down, hopefully just one more to go. Dishwasher coming next week and then I’ll just need the new floor. Which I am obvi not doing myself.
Lots of working out today. Two full sessions of yoga and then painting… my arms are killing me. Progress, progress — in ALL aspects of my life right now. And it feels great!
WORKOUT – bike 1 hour, 1 mile (still hurts!! WTF!?) yoga x2
Cute pic I found. Nothing changes… I think I still make that face all the time.
WORKOUT – ellip 30 mins, bike 30 mins, 1 mile (ouch!), yoga x2
Yeah I know, but it’s good to hear once in a while. Recently someone who I went to highschool with sent me a message on Facebook. First of all, I’m starting to hate FB – I think people use it for bragging, making their lives look better than they really are and trying to make others jealous. And let’s be honest – no one cares that your kid pooped in the potty today or that you trying out a new recipe for dinner. Seriously. Anyway that’s beside the point. Someone emailed me this awesome message the other day saying that he got Harvey’s FB Page invite and started reading about Harvey and reading my blog etc. Jyst of it is he gave me some mad compliments about being strong and continuing to do good out of a bad situation. And that Harv was a damn lucky guy – true that. So, yes it’s just nice to hear these things once in a while and makes it all the more worth it.
So why not hear some more. I’ve been going through some of the Caring Bridge stuff recently just because I like to reflect on this time of year and put my life into perspective and remember the really hard parts of all of this. So here are some awesome things that people said on the CB Guestbook.
Written Nov 5, 2010 7:31am
Hey Harvey and April…I am constantly reading your updates and happened upon the journal entry that someone wrote to you in which you mentioned this is your new normal. I cannot imagine what you two are going through but I do know that we are beyond grateful that Harvey has found such an amazing person to stand by his side through all of this.
I mentioned to Lori we wanted braclets and maybe do a group order thing.
Always praying for the both of you.
Written Nov 5, 2010 9:43pm
Haven’t swung through here in awhile…. Sounds like we’re still waiting.
Apri, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the Sally & Jim story! I also love reading your journal updates. You are so sweet & so hilarious!
Big Harv…. I’ve been thinking about you everyday my friend! Praying for wonderful results & hoping you get them by Monday.
Much love to you both!
DJ Franklin (Dyson)
Written Dec 23, 2010 9:02am
You never cease to amaze me. Your strength and positivity is truly remarkable! Mauro and I were so touched by Harvery’s services, it was simply beautiful, and a true tribute to the person he was.
We left the reception saying to each other how lucky we both were to experience Harvey, and how he has touched so many lives in so many ways! Thank you for keeping us all up to date with what is going on, you are the best!
Please know that we are all thinking and praying for you daily!
Written Dec 21, 2010 4:09pm
April–so great to see you and your strength throughout Harvey’s fight. You, Harvey, and your families are in my thoughts and prayers throughout the Holiday season and will be throughout the New Year.
You are amazing and your strength has taught me that you can get through anything (and to keep partying!). Stay strong and as always, let me know if there is anything I can do. Given your recent update, I am happy to help with the fundraising/memorial, etc. if you need any assistance.
It really is amazing to read back through these messages. And makes me feel a million times better about myself. Now I just need to get off my butt and get out there and start doing amazing things again.
WORKOUT – elliptical 30min, yoga
My cozy lil beddy-by is finally done. First room to be finished and most important of course. Let’s reminisce and see some before…
I didn’t have any other good pictures except the professional ones from the wedding photographers. But this gives a better idea. Plus I look good so any excuse to post this again is fine with me. 🙂
I seriously drool over these floors.
WORKOUT – elliptical 1 hour, hot yoga